Have you ever seen those people who dive off cliffs? They are always in some sort of exotic location, with blue-green water below them...never scared or uncertain, they just put their arms out, take a deep breath and dive right off-swoosh.
Yup, thats my life. Every morning I wake up on the edge of that cliff, toes curled over the edge, arms out ready to leap. Only in my ears isn't the sound of wind and surf but Fra's demands for "some!" (food), the babies crying or cooing, the big kids fighting or giggling. The day spills out before me, laundry and dishes, breastfeeding, bottles, toast and eggs and cereal on the floor. Maybe the park, maybe we'll make cookies, play trucks, check my email(is anyone out there?), call my mom,my husband, contemplate the bills(deep breathing, )grocery list, more laundry, peanut butter, jam, apples, the sound track of my day is five voices asking questions, demands, delights...
I wonder about those divers, don't sometimes they want to turn back? Don't they sometimes say, "Not today. I'm too scared, too tired, too selfish." Do they always dive? Do they just say, "Screw it, I'm here anyways, might as well jump."
Yeah, I guess thats me.
Waking up on the edge of the cliff, toes curled over the edge, taking two seconds to savor the sweetness of the air and the light, then - deep breath and arms out, I leap.
1 year ago